nomorekaraoke: (melancholy baby)
[personal profile] nomorekaraoke
That morning, waking up was the most confusingly lovely thing he'd ever done. It was wonderful, and scary and thrilling at the same time, and it made him feel like something had sucked his heartbeat right up to his chest. It was so wonderful it left him feeling slightly giddy, ever so slightly nauseous with overwhelming excitement.


~*~


He's been smoking all day, walking around the place like he's a very antsy alarm clock just waiting to go off. He'll start screaming soon. If he stops moving, he'll start throwing things around and upset his neighbors, and he'll scream and then he won't know how to stop.

Maybe if he just keeps breathing, he'll be fine. Maybe the smoke will keep him warm enough that he doesn't notice just how empty his too big apartment is. But why stop there? Why not include his whole life into the equation?

Lighting up the last cigarette in his last pack of them, Lorne takes a long, unsteady drag and exhales. Even his breath sounds like death warmed over, and suddenly he's struck by another string of thoughts. His record's stuck on repeat: I don't want to be alone

I don't want to be alone!

I don't want to


He picks up his cell phone off the coffee table, going through his call log and picking out the only number he can trust. And what does he get for it? He gets the answering machine. 'Hi, this is Beth. You know what to do after the beep.'

"Beth, are you there? I didn't know who else to call...but I'm having a really bad day, and I'm not dealing very well, and I just think I need someone to talk to. I didn't know who else to call, I'm sorry if this is totally inappropriate, I just... Call me when you can, all right?"

Date: 2013-06-14 05:26 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"Oh my god."

Her voice is tiny, and softened with sorrow.

"How awful for you."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:27 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"Yeah."

She puts out her hand again, this time palm up.

Date: 2013-06-14 05:29 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
She squeezes, hard, as though trying to pull at least some of the pain out of him.

"Is that ... I don't know how to ask this. Is that what it means? Your, your dream?"

Date: 2013-06-14 05:31 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"I don't know what to say." Soft. "Except that that sucks. I'm so sorry."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:32 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
The sudden shift to laughter takes her by surprise, but only for a moment.

"You'll figure out a way," she tells him, trying hard to project confidence. "It'll be all right."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:34 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"Drown them in coffee instead?" she suggests.

Date: 2013-06-14 05:36 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
She breathes out a long, unhappy sigh.

"Is it gonna do any good to say it's not the end of the world?"

Date: 2013-06-14 05:37 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"But this is still better than an apocalypse, right?" Soft, and trying for certainty.

Date: 2013-06-14 05:38 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"...or at least not quite so bad."

She's quiet for a second, sober.

"I know that's not really the same thing as better."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:40 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
Her chest contracts around her heart with sorrow.

She takes a deep breath and manages to speak matter-of-factly. "I could guess. Unless you'd rather I didn't."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:42 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
"If it was gonna be a problem," she says, and marvels for a moment at how calm she sounds -- how calm she actually is -- "it would've been one since the first time you brought him to the club. It's not. Seriously."

Date: 2013-06-14 05:43 am (UTC)
sunnydalealum: (Beth Lehrer)
From: [personal profile] sunnydalealum
And that's as good as a confirmation.

Softer, again: "He's a good guy."

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nomorekaraoke: (Default)
Lorne

September 2013

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