[In Need of a Friend]

[nomorekaraoke]

That morning, waking up was the most confusingly lovely thing he'd ever done. It was wonderful, and scary and thrilling at the same time, and it made him feel like something had sucked his heartbeat right up to his chest. It was so wonderful it left him feeling slightly giddy, ever so slightly nauseous with overwhelming excitement.


~*~


He's been smoking all day, walking around the place like he's a very antsy alarm clock just waiting to go off. He'll start screaming soon. If he stops moving, he'll start throwing things around and upset his neighbors, and he'll scream and then he won't know how to stop.

Maybe if he just keeps breathing, he'll be fine. Maybe the smoke will keep him warm enough that he doesn't notice just how empty his too big apartment is. But why stop there? Why not include his whole life into the equation?

Lighting up the last cigarette in his last pack of them, Lorne takes a long, unsteady drag and exhales. Even his breath sounds like death warmed over, and suddenly he's struck by another string of thoughts. His record's stuck on repeat: I don't want to be alone

I don't want to be alone!

I don't want to

He picks up his cell phone off the coffee table, going through his call log and picking out the only number he can trust. And what does he get for it? He gets the answering machine. 'Hi, this is Beth. You know what to do after the beep.'

"Beth, are you there? I didn't know who else to call...but I'm having a really bad day, and I'm not dealing very well, and I just think I need someone to talk to. I didn't know who else to call, I'm sorry if this is totally inappropriate, I just... Call me when you can, all right?"

Comments

[sunnydalealum]

It's only about fifteen minutes later when his phone rings.

[nomorekaraoke]

He doesn't want to pick it up, but in the end, he did ask for it, so he figures... It's his own damn fault.

"Beth?"

[sunnydalealum]

"Boss?" She sounds worried; there's the faint noise of traffic behind her voice. "I got your voicemail. Is everything okay?"

[nomorekaraoke]

'Boss'. It's why he didn't want to make this call; because they're not just friends, he's her boss and she's his employee, and never the twain should meet.

"Yeah, kitten," he says, muffled by the fingers that want to stop his lips from trembling. "Everything's peachy."

[sunnydalealum]

A beat of silence.

"Is this about Mr. Silver's reservation?"

(She bites her lip as she says it. Mr. Silver will be arriving late is Aequitas staff code for danger; it sounds far too obviously like code in this context, but she can't think of any other way to ask him if there's trouble he can't discuss out loud.)

[nomorekaraoke]

There's a huff of something between laughter and something else he doesn't want to admit, but then he's smiling so of course it's laughter and nothing else.

Beth's just too sweet, is all. "No, honey."

As an afterthought (even if his heart's racing in fear of reaching out) : "It isn't job related..."

[sunnydalealum]

Her shoulders relax a little.

"What is it, then?"

[nomorekaraoke]

His brow wrinkles up like freshly torn stitches and he shakes his head. "I don't know where to begin."

[sunnydalealum]

Beth chews her lower lip again.

"Do you ... want to meet somewhere? Talk in person?"

[nomorekaraoke]

He clears his throat. "That would be good."

[sunnydalealum]

"Where?"

She comes to a stop at the corner, and waits.

[nomorekaraoke]

"Anywhere I can get a pack of cigarettes. I'm fresh out.

"Coffee would be nice."

[sunnydalealum]

"Where are you now? I mean, general area?"

A pack of cigarettes. That's not a good sign.

[nomorekaraoke]

"Manhattan, Upper East Side. You know me. All glitz and glam." The very words taste bitter.

[sunnydalealum]

Ouch. They sound bitter, too.

"I'm in Midtown," Beth says. "Want me to come up there, or what?"

[nomorekaraoke]

"I'll find you." He stifles a sigh. "I'm heading your way."

[sunnydalealum]

"Okay," she says. "I'm on Sixth Avenue near Macy's."

[nomorekaraoke]

A veritable eternity later, Lorne comes walking down the street heading Beth's way. He's dressed casual enough; maybe muted tones mixed with gray isn't his usual style, but it just seems to work better with his glamour.

[sunnydalealum]

It's funny, but when he's wearing the glamour, she can recognize him at a distance better than close up. It's his build, and the way he moves, that hasn't changed.

She waits until he's close enough that she can be sure he'll see her, and then waves.

[nomorekaraoke]

His eyes light up in recognition, even if he can't quite muster a smile. It doesn't take him long at all to close the distance. "Hey."

[sunnydalealum]

"Hi," she says back, and offers a tentative smile.

... he really doesn't look happy.

[nomorekaraoke]

"I don't..." know how to do this just sort of dies down in his throat. Instead he shows his brand new pack of cigs with a tiny little shake of the wrist.

"Coffee? To go, maybe?" Just in case. He doesn't want to be stuck in a room with strangers if his mood goes from bad to big, bad and bawling.

[sunnydalealum]

"Sure." Soft, and a bit worried. "There's a Starbucks on the next block?"

[nomorekaraoke]

Lorne nods, pulling a cigarette from the pack with deft fingers, and lights up as they head in that direction. At least his hands aren't shaking anymore. It's one of those small blessings everyone keeps gushing over.

"So...what do you know about anagogics, sugar pie?"

[sunnydalealum]

"Um. A little? I mean, I know you're one, and that has to do with how you can read people when they sing..."